Hi friends, I took a hiatus from blogging. Just running around doing wifely duties along with looking after the kids. Men , it can take a toll on you if you do not plan well. Hope everyone is doing well.
Today, I am speaking on marriage. When you are single, all you want to do is get a boyfriend,then get engaged and then get married. I remember when I got my engagement ring from my husband I was always staring at it and I loved it so much. I bragged to my friends and was so excited, now I still love it but I hardly wear it because it is heavy and somewhat uncomfortable. My focus now is on the kids and trying to make my marriage work.
Any body that is married and says that marriage is not hard is a liar. Marriage is a tough institution and should not be entered in to lightly. I have heard crazy stories, witnessed my parent's marriage and my own marriage and I know that God alone is the only person that can make a marriage work. Sometimes sef, I say if I had my way i no for marry. Another thing that bothers me is my single friends who constantly call me to ask when there own will come, why is this, why is that not happening for them. I feel for them because of the companionship they want, but I tell them that they should better thank God for where they are. For single folks, honestly my best advice to you is to be happy and build yourself, a man is not what will make you happy, you have to appreciate your self worth and know that God's child and that he has a purpose for you. Then pray for God to build you up to be who he wants you to be and ask him for a husband that loves him first and that will treat you with honor.
Most marriages today have issues from the very start, I feel sorry for people who use pregnancy to trap men,even if the men marry them, the hell they go through in marriage is always a lot because the man can despise the wife because of what she did. Take this story, one guy called Deji married one girl Folake. Folake was a friend of his ex girlfriend and because he had plenty money she threw herself on him. Babe, was fine and was blessed with boobs so the bobo was hooked now.She did not even respect her friend.She moved ahead with him and they started dating, can you imagine that because this guy had money, the girl wanted to get him by all means. After 6months of dating he took her away on a vacation and she thought the guy will propose to her there but he did not. Anyway she now decided to get pregnant for him and when she did, he did not want to marry her , but his family and her family insisted and they got married. Please do you think he loves her? I see the girl and I feel for her, but I cannot blame the guy for treating her so bad, because she did it to herself.She looks fed up and now has 2 kids however the guy hits the club at every opportunity he gets and throws birthday parties for himself and does not even tell the wife about what is going on in his life. I only pray that God works on both of them to restore the marriage. Marry for the right reason and do not trick men into marrying you because once a man desists you, you will be a victim of a loveless marriage and potential abuse. To be contd.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
JOS Mayhem
Today I am not happy at all. I am so sad. You know I have been so busy running around trying to be efficient at work and sometimes you are stuck in your own world and forgetting what is going on around you.I logged on to Nigeriaworld and I saw a picture of the women who were protesting what happened to their child/children in the Jos killings.
http://odili.net/news/source/2010/mar/12/814.html
http://stella-dimokokorkus.blogspot.com/2010/03/enough-is-enoughsee-aftermath-of-jos.html#comment-form
Can anyone imagine the pain of this type of thing happening to them? God forbid we experience such but I could not help feeling for them. Some appeared semi nude to protest because of how they felt. I cannot imagine how a woman who lost seven childresn would feel. The beautiful gift God gave them? To be killed in such a gruesome manner. I know that I will have appeared there naked from head to toe.You basically lose your mind and only God can restore such a soul. I am hoping that the Government in Nigeria would do something to address the issues going on in Jos. The key thing is for people to live in peace with each other despite our differences, tribalism/different religions. Marrying my husband was war, I am fom the east and my husband is from the south and there was so much drama, I was so depressed.However, I stuck to my ground and ended up marrying him. The lesson we can take from this, my fellow Nigerians is that we cannot give up trying to make our country better, hopefully our generation will improve things and make Nigeria to be united. Wherever we are, let us show kindness and love to those who are different from us.
http://odili.net/news/source/2010/mar/12/814.html
http://stella-dimokokorkus.blogspot.com/2010/03/enough-is-enoughsee-aftermath-of-jos.html#comment-form
Can anyone imagine the pain of this type of thing happening to them? God forbid we experience such but I could not help feeling for them. Some appeared semi nude to protest because of how they felt. I cannot imagine how a woman who lost seven childresn would feel. The beautiful gift God gave them? To be killed in such a gruesome manner. I know that I will have appeared there naked from head to toe.You basically lose your mind and only God can restore such a soul. I am hoping that the Government in Nigeria would do something to address the issues going on in Jos. The key thing is for people to live in peace with each other despite our differences, tribalism/different religions. Marrying my husband was war, I am fom the east and my husband is from the south and there was so much drama, I was so depressed.However, I stuck to my ground and ended up marrying him. The lesson we can take from this, my fellow Nigerians is that we cannot give up trying to make our country better, hopefully our generation will improve things and make Nigeria to be united. Wherever we are, let us show kindness and love to those who are different from us.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
First Abuse
I am a lady in her 30's and I am married with 2 children. I have been married for 9 years till date.I am trying to share my story with people so they will be wiser when making their choices.
I am originally from Nigeria and I love my country even though politically I cannot understand what is happening now, hopefully it will get better. My journey in life started in Nigeria, I was born there and I am the 1st child amongst 8children. Growing up in Nigeria was so much fun, since I was born in the 70's cost of living was relatively low. My parents were middle class and my dad worked for the government when I was born and we lived in a lovely home. We had everything a child could wish for, my father really spoilt us and I loved him a lot.My mom too was a lovely woman but she in a way was scared of my dad and respected him with fear and trembling. We as the children adopted the fear a little when we were young but with a child's mind never really understood. Before my parents were married, my father's relatives lived with us and when they got married, my father's relatives still lived with us and cooked in the same kitchen my mom was cooking in. As a norm in Nigeria, a successful brother had the task of training his siblings or acting as a father figure in order to assist his family. My mom, had to bear all these people in the home, she had no choice and tried her best to accommodate them. However, my father's sisters always had an issue with her and did not like her as they felt she would cut their ration of the money they were getting from my dad.
Since there were about 3sisters and 2 brothers living in the boys quarter( chalet behind the house), there were constant visitors in our home. My first encounter with Uncle Barnabas was when we came to visit my uncle. I and my sister normally went to the boy's quarters to play with our relatives and see what they would buy for us and many a times they would give us sweets and plantain chips. On the fateful day,when I was 5, I remember going alone to my uncle's room to see him and unfortunately met his friend. I remember his piercing eyes and him telling me to sit on his lap, which I did innocently. The next thing I remember was him bringing out his black erect penis and he told me to hold it. I of course was curious and afraid and I ended up holding it. He then told me to rub it and I did. When he was done, he then told me to look at him and promise not to tell anyone what happened and gave me Tom Tom sweet and said he loved me. This was my first encounter of abuse and I did not tell my mom out of fear that she would punish me,but my innocence was robbed at such a young age and I have fought all my life to try and be who God wants me to be. This first story has taught me now as a mother to be wary of whom I let into my home as a mother. Not all uncles are good and not all aunts are good. A home should be a shelter for children and not a haven for molesters who disguise themselves as uncles/aunts and in return for your kindness to them abuse your kids. Lesson for the day: Beware of who you let in your home.
I am originally from Nigeria and I love my country even though politically I cannot understand what is happening now, hopefully it will get better. My journey in life started in Nigeria, I was born there and I am the 1st child amongst 8children. Growing up in Nigeria was so much fun, since I was born in the 70's cost of living was relatively low. My parents were middle class and my dad worked for the government when I was born and we lived in a lovely home. We had everything a child could wish for, my father really spoilt us and I loved him a lot.My mom too was a lovely woman but she in a way was scared of my dad and respected him with fear and trembling. We as the children adopted the fear a little when we were young but with a child's mind never really understood. Before my parents were married, my father's relatives lived with us and when they got married, my father's relatives still lived with us and cooked in the same kitchen my mom was cooking in. As a norm in Nigeria, a successful brother had the task of training his siblings or acting as a father figure in order to assist his family. My mom, had to bear all these people in the home, she had no choice and tried her best to accommodate them. However, my father's sisters always had an issue with her and did not like her as they felt she would cut their ration of the money they were getting from my dad.
Since there were about 3sisters and 2 brothers living in the boys quarter( chalet behind the house), there were constant visitors in our home. My first encounter with Uncle Barnabas was when we came to visit my uncle. I and my sister normally went to the boy's quarters to play with our relatives and see what they would buy for us and many a times they would give us sweets and plantain chips. On the fateful day,when I was 5, I remember going alone to my uncle's room to see him and unfortunately met his friend. I remember his piercing eyes and him telling me to sit on his lap, which I did innocently. The next thing I remember was him bringing out his black erect penis and he told me to hold it. I of course was curious and afraid and I ended up holding it. He then told me to rub it and I did. When he was done, he then told me to look at him and promise not to tell anyone what happened and gave me Tom Tom sweet and said he loved me. This was my first encounter of abuse and I did not tell my mom out of fear that she would punish me,but my innocence was robbed at such a young age and I have fought all my life to try and be who God wants me to be. This first story has taught me now as a mother to be wary of whom I let into my home as a mother. Not all uncles are good and not all aunts are good. A home should be a shelter for children and not a haven for molesters who disguise themselves as uncles/aunts and in return for your kindness to them abuse your kids. Lesson for the day: Beware of who you let in your home.
My first blog
Today March 10th 2010 is my first day of blogging. I had always wanted to start a blog in order to vent and also to seek advice from women. Another thing that hurt me is the fact women go through a lot of things, some are fortunate and never experience any thing negative or do not admit it. However, from childhood to womanhood, there seems to be a lot of insecurities that plague a woman. Some of us become tougher from our experiences, while some remain heartbroken and suffer from self esteem issues for a long time. Well, this blog is to give hope to women and let them know that whatever you have been through, or are going through, do not stay down. I want women to know that they are loved by God and can be who God wants them to be regardless of the situation that they are in. I want to uphold you my dear sisters to stick together and hold each other up whenever you can. I hope from this blog we can help a range of females from teenagers, single women looking to get married and already married women. Readers please help to give insights to different topics that will be discussed to help all women. Enjoy!!!!
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